ORIGINAL LETTER TO GOD

Lord, this was a real dog fight

Dear Father:
Huh, have you heard the news? They say it was not easy at the Pappy’s house last night. You mean after they left the football field they had to end up at the Pappy’s house too, they couldn’t allow the old man to rest with the old ma small.

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Lord, what will the Ray Hay man be thinking right now?

Dear Father:

You know, the other day I heard that the Footballer was going to announce how he was joining forces with the Rogue disgraced Paramount Chief who was booted out of the Traditional Council because he could not keep his hands off the cookies jar.

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Lord, we will never understand

Dear Father:

Hmmm, it’s hard to explain. No matter how hard we try. It will always remain a mystery-a mystery indeed. There is not one person who has ever gone there and come back to tell us how the place look.

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Lord, but where Kparchue thought the Old Lady was carrying him?

Dear Father:

Have you heard the news, they say a certain chief whose name means old switch in one of our local vernacular has been taken to a certain location where drips are being administer to him. They say the man cannot get over the political earthquake at the Traditional Counsel that saw his dreams swept away in split seconds-even his deputy position is said to be under threats.

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Lord, did I hear “your send that man back?”

Dear Father:

Hahaha ooh, hahaha, they say small children can run but they can't hide for true ya. Hahaha, umm, monkey thought he was a man till a fine shot brought him down. What are you talking about my son and you are using all these parables?

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Lord, the same rope that hang baboon, can hang monkey

Dear Father;

You know, when I think about the way our chiefs do their politics at the Traditional Council, it reminds me of a virus. The virus may just start from your index finger but before you know it, what was only a problem, affecting just your left finger has travelled to your right hand and setting everything apart.

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Lord, you see, God don’t like ugly

Dear Father:

The old people say the breeze that can disgrace the chicken can always come from behind-yes, not in front. You know, I was listening to one of the town criers the other day when I heard somebody saying one prophet had long prophesized that our Paramount Chief from the lower end of the Traditional Council was going to meet up with his disgrace one day. They say the prophet said this doing one meeting held in one of our village fiefdoms.

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Lord, who are the new passengers in the Paramount Chief’s convoy?

Dear Father:

Have you noticed that of late there are some strange passengers in the convoy of the Paramount Chief’ from the lower end of the Traditional Council?

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Lord, monkey thought he was a man, till a fine shot brought him down

Dear Father:

Uh, you know, I have often said here and again that I love to watch movies, especially Hollywood Block Busters, the mafia operative ones too. There is this characterization of them (mafias) that is- you never trust them whether dead or alive. They may pretend to be for you, but never trust them; they will dump you at the end. They don’t stay loyal for long.

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Lord, will he really fight corruption in our village

Dear Father:

They say you can tell a man’s thought from the way he dresses-or his thought pattern from the way he behaves. They also say that you can tell whether the market will be good from the early morning atmosphere.

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