ORIGINAL LETTER TO GOD

Lord, did I hear “your send that man back?”

Dear Father:

Hahaha ooh, hahaha, they say small children can run but they can't hide for true ya. Hahaha, umm, monkey thought he was a man till a fine shot brought him down. What are you talking about my son and you are using all these parables?

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Lord, the same rope that hang baboon, can hang monkey

Dear Father;

You know, when I think about the way our chiefs do their politics at the Traditional Council, it reminds me of a virus. The virus may just start from your index finger but before you know it, what was only a problem, affecting just your left finger has travelled to your right hand and setting everything apart.

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Lord, you see, God don’t like ugly

Dear Father:

The old people say the breeze that can disgrace the chicken can always come from behind-yes, not in front. You know, I was listening to one of the town criers the other day when I heard somebody saying one prophet had long prophesized that our Paramount Chief from the lower end of the Traditional Council was going to meet up with his disgrace one day. They say the prophet said this doing one meeting held in one of our village fiefdoms.

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Lord, who are the new passengers in the Paramount Chief’s convoy?

Dear Father:

Have you noticed that of late there are some strange passengers in the convoy of the Paramount Chief’ from the lower end of the Traditional Council?

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Lord, monkey thought he was a man, till a fine shot brought him down

Dear Father:

Uh, you know, I have often said here and again that I love to watch movies, especially Hollywood Block Busters, the mafia operative ones too. There is this characterization of them (mafias) that is- you never trust them whether dead or alive. They may pretend to be for you, but never trust them; they will dump you at the end. They don’t stay loyal for long.

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Lord, will he really fight corruption in our village

Dear Father:

They say you can tell a man’s thought from the way he dresses-or his thought pattern from the way he behaves. They also say that you can tell whether the market will be good from the early morning atmosphere.

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Lord, they say town trap is not for rat alone

Dear Father:

The old people say town trap is not for rat alone. When you set the trap in the town targeting a rat, just know that, that trap will catch up to your chicken-even your dogs and cats will not be spare. My son! My name ooh Father. But da lie? Ehn when you set trap in the town every creeping and walking thing in the town is a possible target? That is why the people say if you don’t have plenty children don’t join witch craft.

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Lord, he who runs away, lives to fight another day

Dear Father:
I know what they are all thinking right now. They think I am a scare coward-right? They think I just get big mouth. Trust me, I know. That paper is leaving from one room to another right now. Everybody is laughing thru their teeth right now as they flip the pages. I can see their thirty-twos from afar.

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Lord, even the city cannot hide the ugliness of the baboon

Dear Father:
Hahaha, ooh, hahaha! Father have you heard the news? They say the Footballer Camp na suspend some of its star players for displaying their rudeness at the Traditional Council the other day.

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Lord, all their dirty secrets shall come to light

Dear Father:
Hmmm, we are here. Ehn all their dirty secrets coming outside small, small. The Good Old Book can't lie. It says at the end, all the hidden things shall come to light. It is left with my fellow villagers to see and know the kina mind the big, big people in our village have for this place.

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