ORIGINAL LETTER TO GOD

Lord, will he really fight corruption in our village

Dear Father:

They say you can tell a man’s thought from the way he dresses-or his thought pattern from the way he behaves. They also say that you can tell whether the market will be good from the early morning atmosphere.

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Lord, they say town trap is not for rat alone

Dear Father:

The old people say town trap is not for rat alone. When you set the trap in the town targeting a rat, just know that, that trap will catch up to your chicken-even your dogs and cats will not be spare. My son! My name ooh Father. But da lie? Ehn when you set trap in the town every creeping and walking thing in the town is a possible target? That is why the people say if you don’t have plenty children don’t join witch craft.

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Lord, he who runs away, lives to fight another day

Dear Father:
I know what they are all thinking right now. They think I am a scare coward-right? They think I just get big mouth. Trust me, I know. That paper is leaving from one room to another right now. Everybody is laughing thru their teeth right now as they flip the pages. I can see their thirty-twos from afar.

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Lord, even the city cannot hide the ugliness of the baboon

Dear Father:
Hahaha, ooh, hahaha! Father have you heard the news? They say the Footballer Camp na suspend some of its star players for displaying their rudeness at the Traditional Council the other day.

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Lord, all their dirty secrets shall come to light

Dear Father:
Hmmm, we are here. Ehn all their dirty secrets coming outside small, small. The Good Old Book can't lie. It says at the end, all the hidden things shall come to light. It is left with my fellow villagers to see and know the kina mind the big, big people in our village have for this place.

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Lord, let them leave the Footballer alone ya

Dear Father:
I say drama can't finish ya. So they say one little side squeeze of the Footballer is now running after him for child support? And if I got the story correct did they say the pekin na chopped 10-years? So if the pekin na chopped 10-years then it means the Footballer must have impregnated the thing during the heat of 2005.

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Lord, they say the liar can say my witness is dead!

Dear Father:

The old people can say, the person who can tell lie can say my witness is dead but in this case, my witness is truly alive. You see, I often tell people that no one can hide from the truth. No matter how long it takes the truth will always show face.-And like we say in our village here, when it burst, we will all smell it.

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Lord, can you tell this chief to return the old man expired fish?

Dear Father:

I have heard that of late, there has been some ongoing battle between the sleepy old man who wants to replace the old lady at the Castle and a mouthy little rascal chief at the Traditional Council.

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Lord, da the only family da know book in this village?

Dear Father:

I know some people will say I am small in my thinking and there is no law in our oracle that says that the Old Lady or any other person seated in our village Castle can't give job to an entire family or take 6 people from one small village or three brothers to serve in the kitchen staff at the very senior levels too during the same period.

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Lord, how can they distance themselves?

Dear Father:
You know, of late it is becoming very common in our village for chiefs from the Traditional Council and others like them to always distance themselves from our village establishment. More often, they blamed all of their combine failures on the head of the Old Lady.

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