Lord, we want to do passport inspection

Dear Father:
This they say here is too much now. We need to put a stop to this whole gossip wahala, so that everything can be crystal clear. We want to do passport inspection first for all those who say they want to chop president job in this forested village and second for all those holding village positions.

Yes, Father, this thing is too much now. Everyday this other person is from Uncle Sam’s Village or that other person is from that other village. The village people tired hearing all of this. So all we need to do is make sure everybody present their passports for the last 12 years and let see which type of book people are holding around here.
My son, where have you come from with this one again?

Father you know in our village these days when the thief is your country man, he is not a thief but when the thief is from your neighbor’s house then he is a thief. Simply put, there are too many hypocrisy around here now a days. People are hurling and pulling when it comes to other people wahala. But when the story turns around then they want to push it under the carpet’

So let see who will chop president for our village this year. Ehn in addition to the passport we get a new law. You think they will do so my son? But Father ehn that the hypocrisy I talking about there-because somebody and you come from the same village and he or she want to chop president so whether he is fit or not, you must support him or her-and assuming that the person has bad past records, you rise up to their defense, yet we want our village to prosper.

It’s the same about the fan clubs we get around here called parties in our village today. When you are a fan of a particular so-called popular person from one of these big fan clubs around here, then the person is above our village oracle any attempt to ensure that the village oracle is apply is kicked against.

When you know our village oracle says no foreigner can hold certain position in our village and when your interest is caught pans down then there is some kind of witch hunt.
So like I said, Father, it boils down to the same thing. When the thief is from your house he is not a thief but when it is from your neighbor’s house then he is a thief.
Today in our village especially at this time people are only after what they can put in their pocket and for others their bellies. So integrity and honesty has been suspended for a while. They have been thrown out of the window.

Anyway, let leave stories Father, but me this year I can tell anybody we are not putting any square pig in round whole. If your taste is for small girls around here, we don’t want to desecrate our highest office-because a person who can’t keep his pans on can drop it anywhere.

Lord, who is playing the ehtnic card?

Dear Father:
You know few years ago, I was invited to a meeting with a very big mouth politician. I was his subject of interest. Oh, yes, Father, I was becuase I was wounded and fired up back then.

In such a state where vengence was the only vocabulary running through my tiny head-this big mouth self overratted politician invited me to a meeting. After being persuaded for days by some closed friends at the time, I reluctantly gave in to attend this meeting and for the first time sat at a table with him to hear him out. It was brunch-time on a fateful Sunday.

This guy started the conversation very well with how he can help me with the cost of the printing of the New Dawn. At that time, we had just started and Father, yours truly was the hottest and newest kid on the block. So, everybody wanted to win him over quickly.

But this is where I brought the whole meeting to an abrupt end after expressing myself. This big mouth politician told me (apparently this was his own way of trying to win me over) that this village belongs to the country people and that it was time to get it back becuase if the country people don’t, the settlers will continue to rule us. They will keep the village as is, send their children abroad to get western education and come back to rule our children-a kind of viscious circle.

Father, what he was simply trying to do was play the country-congo card. Throw few decks at me and see how I respond after which he would come with higher ranking cards.
But this is what I told him: I said, first of all, I have trained my kids as little as they were that nobody is superior than them-whether black, yellow or white. They should always see themselves as equally competitive. For someone to sit and put one tail between his or her legs and blame other people for your condition is your own failure, not those you blame making.

“ If you will sit and allow your kids to be subordinates to others not mine“, I said. After that speech I told the friends that accompanied me that it was time to leave and we left.
Today in this village Father, our people continue to play a card that only exist in politics but nolonger in our village.

When ever certain individuals try to seek power in our village, they try to draw an ethnic line. But the truth is those who played the ethnic cards as trump cards for seeking elections are more class concious than those they accused.
I remembered my father and uncles telling me stories about how they were brought up by settlers and how some of them were treated with respect-though some had bad upbringing.

In our village, the educated countryman at the time will not allow his relatives from the interior to pass through his front door rather directing them to pass at the back to-their sitting rooms were too decent for the person coming from the village to pass through.

Today, at our Traditional Council, 99.999% of the Parmount Chiefs there are country people, yet as it was in those days is still the same. They want to emulate those they have accused of impoverishing our village. They fly to Uncle Sam’s village for their agricultural breaks, as if they are making farms there; Most of them have their families residing there. In fact, whenever they visit their Fiefdoms, some want to be carried in hammock. They see themselves as the comtemporary colonial masters over thier people.

They have deliberately refused to give power to the people in the villages by draging their feet to sign the decentralization bills. By now all the Fiefdom roads in our village should have been paved. But hey, they want to live like those they criticized and yet want us to believe that there still exist something called Country and Congo-Nonesense!

Lord, who wants to put sand in the Oldma & Papy gari?

Dear Father:

You know, sometimes I can’t really understand the people in this our village here. They always like to look for ways to bring palaver between people, especially when the two people are so closed and very friendly.

And when they finish causing the problem then they go sit down like butter can’t melt.

Look at the other trouble they na bring here again. I don’t know who go say the Iron Old Lady and her Papy Joe na on speaking terms again? They even had the Papy speaking as if there is a serious bad blood and disappointment between their two.

My son what they say is really going on between these two people?

Can you imagine Father, the people even went further. They say the Old Lady had abandoned the Papy and was now pumping money behind that man who almost die out of frustration in 2005,
after some fake men of God told him to just go and sew his suit for his coronation as king for our village when in actual fact the people did not even consider him among the first two best choices.
And they say she is doing it at the expense of the Handshake and Papy Joe.Then they did not only stop there, they say the Old Lady say she na like the Papy. They say the Papy weak and he like sleeping too much.

Tell me something my son!

Father da small thing. The thing that made the people from the Castle couldn’t sleep. They were passing all around to all the Town Criers, explaining how the people are lying on the Old Lady and the Papy.
They even say before the Old Lady could leave for Queen Sheeba’s home town, she and the Papy had their heart to heart discussion as to how to give some people wah-wa.

Hmmm, they na stop there, they say the Old Lady is playing a very dangerous game for this year when she suppose to be retiring, by eyeing da other little man. My Name Ooh!

Aw wa, my son, who the other little man again?

Father, my name ooh, I na get ray shoes to go to court this morning ya, let leave stories. This one I na putting it in any hole. But no Father, like seriously, they say behind every smoke there is a fire-beit false fire or real fire.
Behind all these noise we are hearing come down to only one thing-money, money, money.

The people say the Old Lady too mean. They say she na want to conjugate the verb with some of her retirement money to help the Handshake Group and the Papy. But some people say even though the Old Lady get
glued on her hand, but she says the people from the Handshake group are very ungrateful-they don’t want to conjugate the verb too-you bring, I bring.

But my son, she thinks that the man who almost die from heart attack 11 years ago will give her what she wants?

Hmmm, Father you just don’t understand. These people in our village, um, na wa oo. Anyway, they will be just fine.

So my son, hey say what going on in the Footballer’s camp since he joined with the Ray Hay Man and da disgraced chief?

Father, da is another interesting place to ease drop. They say the disgraced Chief has been looking for attention. They say he is even trying to leave that whole group.

For what my son?

Father, they say the man says, the other two leaders-meaning the Footballer and the Ray Hay Man’s ex-wife suppose to be behind him sitting by him under the Palaver Hut when the Council of Elders called him to answer
questions about the stolen money he received. He says by so doing then everybody will know that they are together but the people are not helping him and they are leaving him alone so he wants to leave them.

But wait oo son, da the people told him to put his hands in the cookies jar? And in the first place, when he got his lay thing did he share it with them before they must come and sit behind him like that-nonsense! This village is
so interesting.

Lord, we will need more drips for 2017 oo

Dear Father:

Hahaha, ooh hahaha. I think we will really need a lot of reserved drips in this village to keep for the election oo, because the way I see plenty people hallucinating around here when reality sets in after the voting it will na be easy.

Are you for real my son?

But Father, what I should say na, for the past two voting we have done in our village this year own pa, da na small people want position.

The other day I went to my friend them radio station, I could not even find a place to pack my jalopy. When I asked what was going on, my friend told me that the people who want be chiefs at the Traditional Council oo.

You know, Father, the reason why I say the people should bring in more drips is because I can see many of the people who want to be chief at the Traditional Council getting heart attacks.

The plain and simple truth is that some of them are not even chief material and instead of taking that their little money to go and invest in some kind of business for they and their families, they want spend it on campaign.

Can you imagine Father there are some of them who are also transporting people from one fiefdom to another in our village?

What kind of person who wants to be a chief in a particular village will do such a thing?

Father, trust me; these are the conned artists who have failed miserably and know fully well that the people in those fiefdoms will never vote them there again. They are the ones now faring people to their fiefdom to register and vote for them.

And you know what Father; these shameless people go around boasting that even if some town criers are willing to be trucked in their fiefdoms they are willing to take them there. But for me Father, you know I am not freaked out by that.

There is a saying that he, who laughs last, laughs the best. And quite honestly, what dog cares about family planning? If they like they should go and burn the sea.

But one thing, I am sure of is there is going to be a lot of frustration around here after the 10th month of this year.

And Father, let me use this forum to warn all my friends them, if you know your fallback positionna strong and you go put your hand in wanting to be chief, when they people chop your money don’t come crying poor to me.

I know ehn. So what about the other people who making all the big mouth around here saying that they get plenty money to spend?

Father, just leave them, we are packing plenty drips around here.


The Fight for Ocean Health

By José MaríaFigueres, Pascal Lamy, and John D. Podesta

NEW YORK – The ocean is changing – and not for the better. Well-established scientific evidence shows that it is becoming emptier, warmer, and more acidic, putting marine life under serious pressure. But there is good news: evidence also indicates that the ocean can regenerate, and the world has already agreed to enable that outcome.

The Sustainable Development Goal for the Ocean (SDG 14) was adopted by world leaders in September 2015 as part of the United Nations 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. It includes vital targets, such as mitigating ocean acidification, securing habitat and species protections, reducing pollution substantially, and ending illegal fishing and subsidies that lead to overfishing.

Ultimately, SDG 14 promises to preserve the ocean and ensure its sustainable use in the future. But it can be realized only with bold and urgent action, buttressed by solidarity among governments, citizens, and business.

This week, governments and experts are gathering in New York to begin crafting a global “call for action” to implement SDG 14. The call, which will be launched in June, at the UN’s first-ever Ocean Conference, should include a firm commitment to protect at least 30% of the ocean by 2030, and ensure that the remaining 70% is sustainably managed. UN member states must also pledge to secure the extension of legal protections to high-seas biodiversity by closing the gaping governance loophole that exposes the ocean to plunder.

There is one more priority area that the call for action must address: climate change. In fact, a healthy ocean will be impossible to secure without also addressing this pressing global challenge. Achieving SDG 14 therefore demands that the international community reaffirm its commitment to the Paris climate agreement, and to announce concrete steps toward achieving net-zero carbon emissions by 2050.

To avoid more empty promises, all commitments must be backed up by a clear financing plan and subjected to regular accountability checks. Governments, the UN, and other actors should set a schedule for monitoring and check-ins, to keep delivery of the targets transparent, funded, and on schedule.

To support these efforts, we urge UN Secretary-General AntónioGuterres to appoint a Special Representative for the Ocean, tasked with improving ocean governance and ensuring that the full potential of SDG 14 is realized. Such a representative must be given sufficient resources to do the job.

The ocean has suffered decades of abuse and neglect. It has been treated as a free-for-all garbage bin and race-to-the-bottom buffet. We have financed its destruction, with no regard for the consequences. But those consequences have become impossible to ignore. While we, as previous global ocean commissioners, had to campaign hard in 2014 for the ocean to have its own dedicated global goal, it is now hard to believe that the ocean’s position in the SDGs was ever in question. That is the sense that we should have in 2030, when the targets of SDG 14 are fully met.

The only way to get there is through concerted effort – and not just by the likes of ocean commissioners. People everywhere must stand up and demand real action to ensure the ocean’s regeneration. In short, the ocean must become everyone’s business.

To kick-start that process, we have joined the Ocean Unite network, which is galvanizing conservationists, business leaders, young people, and activists to take advantage of growing interest in these issues and create coalitions that can drive ocean health to the top of political and economic agendas worldwide.

Such efforts are already having an impact, with citizens mobilizing to defend the ocean and policymakers beginning to respond to their calls. Now, it is the business community’s turn to step up.

Business has a clear interest in reversing the decline in ocean health. The GDP derived from the ocean amounts to $2.5 trillion, or 5% of the world’s total GDP. That’s equivalent to the GDP of the world’s seventh-largest economy. The ocean is also the world’s biggest employer, directly supporting the livelihoods of more than three billion people, and is a source of food for over 2.6 billion. Restoring the ocean thus amounts to an unparalleled business opportunity.

But the ocean’s value goes far beyond economics. It provides half of the air we breathe, governs our weather, and helps to support peace and prosperity. The ocean’s future is the world’s future.

At a time when politics threatens to undermine cooperative action on the environment, fighting for our shared global environment is more important than ever. Our responsibility for the ocean’s health is as deep, fundamental, and permanent as our dependence on it. No political consideration can compete with that. Now is the time for all of us – citizens, business, and government – to unite and fight for our ocean.

José MaríaFigueres, former President of Costa Rica, is Co-Chair of the Global Ocean Commission. Pascal Lamy, a former director-general of the World Trade Organization, is a Global Ocean Commissioner. John D. Podesta, Chief of Staff to President Bill Clinton from 1998 to 2001, is the founder of the Center for American Progress.

Lord, only if they knew the power they have!

Dear Father:
You know the other day; I was in conversation with some unusual visitors in my little office when the topic of Adam’s whereabouts as at the time Eve had the conversation with the Serpent in the biblical Garden of Eden came up in passing.

Read more ...

Lord, this was a real dog fight

Dear Father:
Huh, have you heard the news? They say it was not easy at the Pappy’s house last night. You mean after they left the football field they had to end up at the Pappy’s house too, they couldn’t allow the old man to rest with the old ma small.

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Lord, what will the Ray Hay man be thinking right now?

Dear Father:

You know, the other day I heard that the Footballer was going to announce how he was joining forces with the Rogue disgraced Paramount Chief who was booted out of the Traditional Council because he could not keep his hands off the cookies jar.

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Lord, we will never understand

Dear Father:

Hmmm, it’s hard to explain. No matter how hard we try. It will always remain a mystery-a mystery indeed. There is not one person who has ever gone there and come back to tell us how the place look.

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Lord, but where Kparchue thought the Old Lady was carrying him?

Dear Father:

Have you heard the news, they say a certain chief whose name means old switch in one of our local vernacular has been taken to a certain location where drips are being administer to him. They say the man cannot get over the political earthquake at the Traditional Counsel that saw his dreams swept away in split seconds-even his deputy position is said to be under threats.

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Lord, did I hear “your send that man back?”

Dear Father:

Hahaha ooh, hahaha, they say small children can run but they can't hide for true ya. Hahaha, umm, monkey thought he was a man till a fine shot brought him down. What are you talking about my son and you are using all these parables?

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