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Pure Heart

Da Breast Sucking We Coming Be On Now? – Part I

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My people, da me again-o. Da me Paul. Ehn yor know me? My mou’h na scared. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern. Da me say so. Wheh you can do to me? Nothing!

My people, yor listen to this one. This one here da big one, but I will still put my mou’h there. I na scared seh. According to some information on the Internet, some well-trained doctors have announced that according to some experiment they did, when men suck the breasts of women, the chances of those women developing breast cancer is lower. Da small thing, my people?

Let me say it another way. Doctors are saying that the more sucking a man does to a woman’s breasts, the more difficult it is for that woman to experience cancer in the breasts. It waste, my people. So, da breast sucking we coming to me on now?

Da small breast sucking men will be on in this country? But who wants his wife or girlfriend to develop breast cancer. Our mou’h them will just be tired. The doctor them na put big trouble down again.

The trouble na start, my people. Just yesterday, I went to visit one of my friends and her husband. Guess what, my people? When I entered the house, the woman was having her two breasts in her hands in the air just like that, walking behind her husband, saying, “Come suck my breasts. I na want get cancer. Sucking can reduce breast cancer. Come suck them quick, quick.”

The husband, too, was just passing here and there. Apparently, he had been sucking for long and his mouth was now tired, but his wife was determined to make cancer afraid of her that same day. That’s how she started following the guy here and there in the living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, garage and so forth, saying the same thing: “You will suck my breasts. I na want get cancer. Sucking can reduce cancer. Come suck them quick, quick.”

This sucking thing we coming to be on will not be easy. Two days ago, one girl took her boyfriend to a police station. When the police officers ask her to explain why she decided to take her boyfriend’s complaint there, she said: “My boyfriend wants to kill me. He wants me to die.”

The officers were confused, so they asked her to clarify what she meant. And she wasted no time in stating it: “Doctors say our boyfriend them should be sucking our breasts so that we will not get cancer. I’ve been asking him to suck my breasts for three days now, but every time I ask him, he refuses. He wants me to get cancer. Da good thing?”

Da trouble na start so. Yor see what the doctors them na put down? Listen to this one, my people. I decided to visit one office on Tuesday. I usually go there to transact business. Two girls and one man work there. While I was entering the building, I saw one of the girls going out to buy pepper kala. I spoke to her and passed by her, heading toward the office. When I reached the door, I noticed something strange – the door was closed. It is always opened.

Anyway, instead of knocking, I put my right ear on the door to hear what was being said inside. Guess what I heard, my people. Yor want me to talk it? I should put my mou’h there? I will put it there. My mou’h na scared.

I heard the girl saying to the man, “I say, I beg you mehn. Please suck my breasts for two minutes mehn. The doctors say my boyfriend should suck them four times per day – 6:am, 12:noon, 6:pm and 12:mid-night so that I cannot get cancer, but, as you can see, he is not around now and it’s already 12:noon. Just do me this favor and suck it quick, quick for me. I don’t want to miss the time.”

Yor see trouble, my people? This breast sucking thing will cause plenty of trouble-o, my people. Yesterday, I went to the Red-Light Market to buy some fried frogs. Guess what I experienced there, my people. I saw a group of boys standing right in the street and saying this to all the women who were passing, “I can suck nipples for money. If you na want breast cancer, I can suck yor breasts you pay me. I suck you pay. You pay I suck. We can suck breasts for money. Any woman wants her breasts sucked? We are available for sucking for money. Down with breast cancer; up with breast sucking!”

Ehn yor see trouble, my people? Da breast sucking we will be on now? So breast sucking ehn all coming to be big business? I can imagine people’s lips getting swollen and mouth getting tired in this country. Da me say so.

to be continued…
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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