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Pure Heart

Deceitful Bra – Part I

It’s said that life is full of deceptions – this is known by almost all creatures called human beings. Political leaders or governors usually deceive the electorate or the governed, while the latter do the same to the former. If you think I’m lying, reflect on the 2011 Liberian elections.

Wives deceive husbands, and husbands deceive wives. Girlfriends deceive boyfriends, and boyfriends deceive girlfriends. If you think I’m lying, think about the major reasons why partners quarrel or break up.

Children deceive their parents, and parents do the same. Teachers deceive students, and students do the same. Providers of goods or services deceive their clients, and the other way round.

But, let it be remembered that playing deceptions isn’t restricted to human beings. Animals do practice deceptions, too. You think I’m lying? Ask some dogs or monkeys you have keenly observed.

Body parts also play deceptions. People’s eyes, for instance, could deceive them, too. Something may be there, but your eyes say there’s nothing. Similarly, something may not be there, but your eyes say it’s there.

While it’s true that I’m aware that life is full of deceptive games and tricks, I didn’t pay much attention to the deceptions played by inanimate objects like a woman’s bra until a few days ago. Bra and all deceitful, my people?

The guy saw the girl from a distance. She was beautiful and well-dressed. Her breasts were all well set in the bra on her. They – that is, her breasts – looked like those of a sixteen-year-old innocent teenager. The bra pushed them up, making them appear like two half-ripe butter pears in the bra. They teased the guy’s eyes and mind.

As she walked much closer to him – he was sitting at a shop and taking it lipi-lipi with a bottle of cold bear – his eyes bulged. The girl’s breasts were bouncing like some ghan-ga ball from Firestone. He looked at them and swallowed spit. That’s what men usually do.

When she was about a minute’s walk away from him, he could no longer hold his peace. He felt hungry. He wanted to see and touch the breasts his eyes were finding it impossible to avoid. That’s what womanizers usually do.

Frankly, he knew about breasts. He was a breastist, a man who likes breasts and enjoys playing with them. Before long, he was on his feet to meet the girl whom he had only seen in the area many times, but about whom he knew nothing. He wanted to approach her, and he wasted no time in doing just that.

As life would have it, she responded positively. He asked her to sit and take something to drink. She agreed. Quickly, a bottle of stout and a can of ROX were brought for her. When it comes to this woman business, some men eat dry face like kanyan. And most girls, too – especially this-time girls – are also prepared for the games.

After this and after that, they found themselves in the guy’s room romancing like two stupid monkeys. He undressed and she did the same, her bra still on her. But it wouldn’t stay there forever. After some time, it was removed.

Guess what? The things called breasts dropped and hung on her chest like an old shower slippers, which the Bassa people called pah-pah. They looked like a dead paramecium. They were completely stupid-looking breasts. When he first saw them, he thought he had seen a dry meat skin that had just dropped from the ceiling, but it was the girl’s pah-pah breasts he was looking at so. Bra can deceive, too.

He looked at the lifeless and dry and flat and stupid-looking breasts and his mannish strength disappeared from in him. Bra can help breasts deceive, too.

The bra fooled him. They called it Up Town Bra. These deceitful bras can make any ugly or stupid-looking breasts look like new breasts from plastic. They make dead breasts appear as if they had life in them. There are deceit bras all over the place. Breastists – that is, breast lovers – have to be careful. Some bras are full of 4-1-9, too. Da me say so. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern.

Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?


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