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Pure Heart

Eh, Women! – Part I

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Da me again-o, my people.Da me Paul. My mou’hna scared. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern. Da me say so.

Today, I want to put my mou’h on the creatures called women. Eh, Women! Yorna easy. Yorna easy today. Yorna easy tomorrow.  I don’t know what makes women like that. They are some special kind of creatures. Women are some interesting kind of creature, and there are various reasons why I am interested in the interestingness of women. Eh, women!

First of all, women like to take money from men. They just feel that it is from men they are supposed to get their eating day in and day out. When they speak to you, da money. And when you make the mistake and speak to them, you spoil it. You will pay. That’s why it’s hard for me to speak to women. I want to keep my money for my family, especially for my children. Women like money business like no one’s business.  Eh, women!

Another interesting thing about women is that they like to gossip. They eat it like kanyan. They gossip just about anything and everything. They enjoy doing it. They gossip about men. Women talk about men’s body size, height and so forth. They gossip about their friends, too. They talk about how their friends dress, how they fix their hair, how they tie their lappas, how they blend colors, how they walk, how they cook, what they cook, how they laugh, how they do this and do that. Da their area. They also gossip about their church brothers and sisters. They gossip about their praise and worship leaders. They gossip about their ushers. They gossip about their pastors. If the pastors and deacons are not around, they find way to gossip about Angel Michael or Angel Gabriel. If they forget about the names of the two angels, they find way to gossip about Jesus. Eh, women!

I will not forget to mention one other fascinating thing about women. They like to bluff with butt. It doesn’t matter whether the butt in question is flat butt, dry butt, bone butt, hard butt, soft butt, bright butt, black butt, split butt, small butt, big butt or worlor-worlor butt. They just fell, believe and know that there is something in the butt behind them. Because of this, they like to set their butt in all kinds of stupid clothes, sometimes suffering their own butt in the process. Some of them sit it in tight jeans that make their butt look like it is coming to burst the trousers. When they set it in lappas or in skirts, they prop it so that it can look wonderful inside. But don’t mind it-o. Some of the butt we see around here is stupid butt. Da me say so.

Besides, another thing women bluff with is breasts. They fix their breasts to blow men’s minds. Sometimes, da for-nothing breast they are bluffing with so-o. They usually prop them to fool the crowd. If you don’t believe me, just grab one lady in the street and take the up-town bra that I call deceitful bra from them, you will see that their breasts will waste like some old rubber slippers. Believe me. Some of the breasts we see around here are stupid breasts. Da me say so.

To be continued…
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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