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Pure Heart

Ehn Yor See What Liberian Girls Can Do? – Part 3

You may hiss like an angry snake, if you want. But the fact is that da me again. Da me Paul. I am here to talk about what Liberian girls can do. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern. Da me say so.

Liberian girls are smart group of creatures. First of all, they attended some of the best universities in the universe. For example, they got their undergraduate degrees from the famous University of Rascality before doing their master’s at the most-talked-about University of Eat Man Money. Da small thing?

Don’t forget, too, though, that they did two post-graduate courses called Classical Dry Face and How to Fool Men. Don’t look at me like that, Liberian girls. I will talk it the way I see it, the way I hear it, the way I know it, and the way it is. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern.

You Liberian girls full of di-ka. Da lie? You full of cha-cha. Da lie? You know how to eat men’s money. Da lie? You know how to deceive me. Da lie? You know how to fool men. Da lie? You know how to confuse men. Da lie? You know how to use men. Da lie? In fact, you eat using men like kanyan. Da lie? Da me say so. Come beat my butt let me see.

Enh yor know my mou’h na scared? I will talk. If yor like it, yor can form an anti-Paul organization to be known as LIGUAP – Liberian Girls United Against Paul. It will not move me seh. As long as I have the things called life and good health, my mou’h will not get tired talking and my fingers will not get tired writing about the doings and ways of Liberian girls.

Just side the Crown Hill Cinema on McDonald’s Street, a woman fries kala, plantain, sausage and fish every day. It is a quite popular place. In fact, some call the place the Kala Place, and call the woman the Kala Woman. Many people, including men and women wearing coat suit, stand in line to be served.

One of the regular customers is a girl called Mamie. She hardly misses days. Every time she goes there, she buys LD25 kala, LD20 sausage or LD20 fish, and LD5 water. In short, she is a fifty-dollar-budget girl.

But guess what? Just yesterday, a guy working around Crown Hill saw her and fell in love with her.  The same day, the guy proposed if she would agree to have lunch with him the following day. She agreed.

Wanting to be a gentleman, the guy asked the girl, “Where would you prefer, Ma?”

This is a guy who usually goes to the small restaurant opposite the Post Office on Carey Street. The food there is LD150 or LD200, and they give cold water free of charge. Instead of telling the girl up front, “Let’s meet at the restaurant opposite the Post Office,” his crazy, funny self asked the girl, “Where do you prefer, Ma?”

He looked for his own trouble because when it comes to dealing with Liberian girls, no man should worry about wanting to be a gentleman. They guy simply forgot or didn’t know that the girl, being a Liberian girl, did Classical Dry Face, an important course for women. Liberian girls? You na ble them, my people.

Anyway, the girl smiled and said, “Let’s just make it at Evelyn’s on Broad Street, opposite the Museum.”

Evelyn’s? Ehn yor see what Liberian girls can do? Here is a girl who usually eats LD25 kala on McDonald’s Street telling the guy to take her to Evelyn’s where food is about US$10. Ehn yor see what Liberian girls can do? Ehn yor see it?

To be continued…
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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