I will talk. I will write. My mou’h na scared. Da lie, my people? Da na lie. You like it, jacko; you na like, Jack-o’-Lantern. Da me say so. Ehn I told you people dat Liberian men graduated from the University of Uselessness? Yor think I lie? Uselessness da their area. They just want to be all around the place living useless lives. Da their area. But yor na know?
When they finished the University of Uselessness, they entered the University of Deceitfulness. You can’t trust them. They full of 4-1-9. They are all around the place, fooling Liberian women. They like to eat Liberian girls on vass. Yor know vass? They full of scance. Da small lie Liberian men can lie? They eat lying like kanyan. Da me say so.
I will suck it to them. When I was writing on Liberian women last week, they were laughing with their last jaw-bone teeth showing like an excited baboon. Now, because I turn the whole thing against them, they are vexed. They want to make palaver with me. They want to fight me. They can get vexed and burst seh. I will still write about their ugly ways. Useless, deceitful set of creatures. Da me say so.
I see why women treat men like an ATM machine. Liberian men think dat they are smart, but it seems that women are the smart ones. Da me say so. Let them come beat my butt-ooo.
Before going to college, Liberian men graduated from a very good high school called Sweet Mouth High School. Liberian men are sugar mouth. When a Liberian man talks with a girl, the girl will think that he is the right man to be with under this sun. Da small sweet mouth Liberian men have? When they finish talking with you, you want to divorce your lil poor husband to marry them. When they give you the sweet talks, you want to leave your lil boyfriend to be with them. But just try it. You will forever regret it.
You think da only uselessness in Liberian men? You lie? You think da only deceitfulness in Liberian men? You also lie? You think da only sweet mou’h Liberian men have? You lie, too. Liberian men also like big show. It is a special vocational course that they did in high school. See them among girls? You will think that they are the owners of the White House in the United States. See them around a beer table at an entertainment center. You will think that they are the richest people on Planet Earth. But check behind them. Nothing! They are for-nothing big show creatures. And the surprising part is that Liberian women are always falling under these big-show creatures. Liberian men must really be good at it, then.
Listen to this one. Liberian men like woman. But what do you expect from a group of people who take uselessness to be their career? When it comes to woman business, it’s like God swear Liberian men. They spoil big time. They are like real dogs on this one. Young boys spoil; old men spoil. Pastors and deacons spoil; imams and alhajis spoil. They are all potter-potter. They are all blahn-blahn. Da me say so. Let them come fight me. I ready for them.
A woman and her younger sister (a teenager), along with the woman’s husband, live in a house right in this town. Simply stated, the sister is living with the two of them. But guess what? The man has started sleeping with the little girl right in the house, right under the woman’s nose. Can you imagine? Ehn yor see what Liberian men can do?
Do you know what he does? At night, when he plans to eat the girl, he goes to bed early, while his wife and the kids stay up, watching TV or listening to music in the living room. When the woman finally gets tired, goes to bed and sleeps like a young baby, the man gets up easily and puts on a special pair of hose – very thick socks – he bought for that person. The socks help him to criminally walk without his footsteps being heard. He will begin to walk like a criminal in his own house.
He will enter the girl’s room, sleep with her, with his criminal socks still on him. When he finishes, he will walk in his criminal socks and criminally go back to his room and quietly lie down beside his woman. Ehn yor see uselessness? Ehn yor see what Liberian men can do? Ehn yor see it?
To be continued…
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?