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How Eve Fooled Adam

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You may hiss like a snake if you wish. You may engage in foot stamping, if that’s what you prefer. You may shake your head, if you think that will help you. You may cuss me to your satisfaction, if that will help you.  But I will not be afraid to say what is on my mind.

And this is it. Women are smarter than men, stronger than men, braver than men, and more cunning than men. Da me say so. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern.

Anyway, that’s all about that for now, as I wish to focus on how a woman called Eve used her smartness to fool a usable, stupid creature called Adam, dislocating him physically and spiritually.

Men’s stupidity under the spell or influence of women started in the Garden of Eden. It began with our father, Adam, the first usable creature. Da me say so.

When one reflects on the garden story, it is hard not to see that women will continue to use men in this life. Every time I think about how Eve used Father Adam in that garden, I realize that we will, as our people would say, “stay long inside” – in being used by women. We are women’s usable creatures. Sometimes I wonder whether this is a result of God putting man to sleep – a deep sleep – before making woman. Anyway, we’re already inside.

I heard from an angel – in a dream – that Adam and Eve were playing under the tree of the forbidden fruit. There Adam’s stupid self was. God had already told him not to eat the forbidden fruit, emphasizing that the day he ate it, he would die.

Then after some time, while he and Eve were playing so-called love under the tree, something strange happened. Eve stretched forth her right hand toward the fruit hanging not too far from them.

Quickly, Adam shouted, “Don’t touch it!”

Eve smiled romantically and determinedly while still moving her hand much closer to the fruit. Before long, she was holding the fruit, which was still attached to a branch of the tree.

“Stop it, Baby Eve,” he said, behaving as if he would stand his ground and contain Eve.

The point is that Adam wanted to behave smart, but how far would he go? He was a man – a usable, stupid creature. A few minutes later, while Adam was not paying attention, Eve picked the fruit and gave it a serious bite, chewing it and swallowing it as if a hungry child had just luckily found a plum.

“Noooo, Eveee! Baaaby Eveee!” screamed Adam, stepping here and there, behaving as if he were prepared to dissociate himself from what Eve had done.

“You shouldn’t have, bone of my bone,” he continued, sounding more romantic and loving than angry and frustrated.

Eve, having realized Adam’s anger and disproval, laid the remaining piece of the fruit between her smooth, shiny, protruding breasts like a Monrovian girl sitting with her beep-the-minister breasts in a charismatic church.

When Adam saw the fruit between Eve’s breasts, he, as our people would say, “toned down the rhetoric,” and put up a new facial expression, which was friendlier than the first.

She conqueringly moved toward Adam, stood in front of him, smiled and said, “Baby Adoo, put your hands around my waist and remove the fruit from between my breasts, using your lips.”

Quickly, the usable, stupid creature called Adam fell under the spell of Eve. Adam did not only remove the fruit with his lips; he was chewing it like a hungry Billy goat.

There Eve stood, looking at Adam condescendingly. She had used him big time. He was nothing in her presence, under her influence, under her spell.

Since that time, men continue to be used by women. It doesn’t matter whether the man is considered poor or rich, young or old, sane or insane, black or white. We men are usable, stupid creatures. Da me say so.

Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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