Remember the story titled “Let Me Just Come from Church”? It was about a Christian woman who cussed her neighbor like nobody’s business, but still believed that the cussing she did should not really be considered “cussing” because, according to her, she was on her way to church?
As I indicated in the article, the woman went to church that Sunday morning and was among those emotionally spiritually singing “Oh, How I Love Jesus.” In fact, her voice could be heard above the voices of the rest of the congregants.
In church that morning, the Pastor’s sermon was taken from Matthew 5:16, which says: “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”
One Deacon Emmanuel Timetable offered the benediction or closing prayer that sent the members and visitors smiling and hugging and telling one another, “God loves you, so love your neighbor in return.”
The Christian woman lovingly smiled with, and spiritually hugged, others beside her. Oh, yes, almost everyone was acting Christian, which usually happens among most of those quick to present themselves as God-fearing, Bible-believing Christians, when they know very well that they are no better than those considered non-believers.
So, in spite of the spiritually inspiring preaching, the wonderfully offered benediction and all the so-called Christian smiles and hugs, the woman went back home after church, determined to fulfill her promise to her neighbor – that she would do more cussing after church than she did before church.
She walked from church as fast as possible and, before long, she was around her house. Like her, some neighbors had come from church and were in front of their houses engaging in some activities – either eating, conversing or doing some other after-church activity. Of course, their attention would soon be distracted.
“I na come from. You think I was joking,” she started, speaking as if her opponent was standing right before her.
“Where is that darn dirty dog that was putting her dirty, stinking mouth on me this morning? I na come from church,” she said, bouncing here and there, as if she was preaching a very powerful sermon to an excited congregation.
“I say, I na come from church. Let her dirty ass come outside right now. I na come from church.”
Some curious neighbors had already come around, while others were emerging from their little corners, to see the actions and listen to a Christian woman who was letting her light shine before people so that they could see her good works and glorify her Father who is in heaven.
“I na come from church. I will cuss your fucking ass nonstop. I will cuss the shit out of you. I na come from church. I didn’t want to wash my mouth on you because I was going to church, but I na come from church. Your darn mother fucker will feel it. Dirty dog! I na come from church.”
“I na come from church. Fuck you hundred times. I na come from church. Fuck your ma fifty times. I na come from church. In fact, your ma puss… Oh, you don’t know me ehn? Fuck your whole generation. Dirty, fucking shit. I na come from church.”
Some careful parents told their children to go back into the house to save them from the ballistic missiles that was jumping from the Christian woman’s holy mouth.
“I say, I na come from church. If you play with me, I will pepper your dirty shit this afternoon. Darn fucking ass. Darn dog. Darn bloody dog. Darn stupid dog. Darn dirty shit. Darn stinking, rotten dog. I na come from church. Your ….”
She was about to launch the next rocket from her holy mouth when her seventeen-year-old daughter came outside and said, “Eh, Mama! And you just came from church? Besides, ehn Colossians 4:6 says that our speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how we ought to answer one another?”
The girl spoke these words to her mother as if she were a kind of preacher trying to force repentance in a non-believer. She looked at the crowd and looked at her mother and gave her final words.
“Eh, Mama! Ehn Ephesians 4:29 says that no bad or abusive language should come out of our mouths, and that everything that comes out of our mouths should be good and helpful, so that our words will be an encouragement to those who hear them?”
The girl turned around and went back inside. Her mother glanced at the curious crowd, hissed and followed her daughter. Nothing else was heard. Gradually, the by-standers dispersed.
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?