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Pure Heart

Let the Invisible Rattan Come – Part I

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No More Hell Fire, No More Videos

Human beings are rotten creatures, but they like to hide their rottenness. Some involve in ritualistic killings. Some seek the downfall of others, or they jubilate over the misfortunate of others. Evil men and women are in the world – and they are many. For instance, while many men are denying pregnancies, many women and young girls are busy destroying their pregnancies, causing the deaths of many innocent unborn children and, at times, destroying their own lives. Wickedness is in the world.

So-called men of God and women of God  continuously gossip about one another, steal or embezzle their organizations’ funds, cheat on their partners, have sexual relationships with their members, and so for. Some church officials involve in voodoo or black magic to obtain and retain higher positions in their religious organizations, yet they shamelessly call themselves men of God and women of God.

Government officials go to church on Sunday, but they engage in corrupt practices on the other days of the week. They go to Bible class on Wednesday and misuse gas slips on the other days of the week. They talk about loving one another and seeking one another’s interests, yet they fight one another at the work place and seek one another’s downfall, applying the crab mentality in the process. Praise and worship leaders sing hallelujah on Sunday and continuously sleep with people they are not married to. Bible class teachers are having sexual relationships with other members of the congregation.  The world is really rotten.

Therefore, Father God, to cut long matters short, to avoid any headache on your part, I want to suggest a new way out. I know I asked you the last time to show the videos containing the rotten ways of all human beings on Judgment Day, but I have changed my mind. Forget about Hell. Forget about the video business. Too much hard time inside.

Already, one of my regular readers called McNeal sent me a text message yesterday, saying: “If God shows my video, I will say da camera trick.” Look at this kind of dry face, Father. McNeal is an example of those who will give you serious hard time on Judgment Day. They are ready to argue with you about their rottenness. Why give yourself hard time on men like McNeal whose sharp mouth will make you vex more? Cancel the Hell business. Cancel the video business.

Another reader called Prince called me and said, “Paul, Ehn God say we should ask and it will be given to us? I will ask Him not to show my video, and He will grant me my request.” God, Prince’s mouth is sharper than a new Super Max razor blade. God, I know you can’t get high blood pressure, but people like Prince could make your temper rise. Just forget about this Hell and video issue.

I have a new suggestion. To expose everyone, men and women, small and big, young and old, religious and irreligious, church leaders and church members, pastors and deacons, lover boys and Christina Boys, lover girls and Christian girls, true believers and false believers, etc., I venture to propose to you, the God of heaven and earth, that you forget about Hell fire and video screening and introduce the invisible rattan, which will publicly show all those who are true believers and those who are pretenders. Let the invisible rattan show all the rotten people of our land.

This is how I would like it to work. The rattan should visit earth every Saturday. The purpose will be to punish all sinners, all wicked people. Let the invisible rattan flog all those who don’t live a good life. Hmm! Fire in Soweto!

When we see a pastor running here and there and crying, holding his or her hands and back and legs and head, then we will know that that pastor committed sins that whole week. If we see a deacon crying and wailing on Saturday, then we will know who the ungodly person is.

Let the invisible rattan flog all the pretenders in religion. Let pastors weep in the open. Let deacons cry like babies. Let choir directors jump here and there in the community, as they run from the rattan.  Let all the church mothers who are sleeping with men they are not married to be beaten.

Oh, invisible rattan, flog – I say, flog – flog all of us who pretend to be good people when in reality we are bad people. Flog Prince and Elizabeth. Flog Rubin and Daniel. Flog, invisible rattan. Flog – I say, beat – all those who sin in the corner and present themselves as God-fearing individuals in the public. Whip, invisible rattan. Your presence will expose everyone for what they really are.

Let the rattan teach us for when the rattan teaches us, not only will we know the good people and the bad people every week, but the number of good people will increase. Don’t you like it like this, Father God?

By the way, let the rattan flog other people for a whole hour and give them hundreds of lashes during the one hour, but please, Father God, when the rattan reaches me, let it flog me for only one or two minutes and just give me a few lashes. OK? I am already weak; no need for you to beat me to death. You are a loving God. Don’t spoil your own name on flakajay people like me for nothing. OK?

To be continued …
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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