Letter to God: Lord, this Papay will na sit down here small?

Dear Father:

So, they say lay Old Man going again ehn, da na small globe trotting him on too oo. You mean he will na sit down in this village small seh to do the work lay people put him there for?

Tell me something my son! You mean all lay problem in this village weh-play him say him going again?

Yes, oh Father, lay Papay say him going to one of Uncle Sam’s cousin’s village to meet one Old White Pastor to pray for him.

So, you want to tell me no Pastor in your village to pray for him-da him mom com go spend all that plenty money just for one Old White Man to lay hand on him?

Father that it there oh. When lay money you are using na your won money you really sweat for, you can do all kina thing. Lay thing seh na full everybody mouths- that him will geh on plane to be going up and down with all those plenty people them behind him-shaka!

Hmm, no wonder him children here doing all kina thing. Two of him children them to that other place where lay people them can fix our village road are there fighting over money.

But Father, how they will na be doing all kina thing. When you leave your children in your house alone with nobody looking over them, you think whatin they will do.

Look around you today, all this plenty zogo them on the street, da people who abandoned their children them to go hustle and do care what they do behind them.

Funny enough when he come and him neighbour them be telling him lay thing them him children can be doing behind him here -fwen you can here from him.

Tell me something, my son!

That small thing-If they na spending Uncle Sam’s money 15 million outside the budget on fiasco, then they are altering lay ingredient them in our national cake just to put 20 million Uncle Sam’s money in their own pockets, and you will na hear lay Papay saying fwen!

Father, can you imagine, how people suffering, no money to even put food on their tables before I say pay rent or children school fees and he and him children here playing with money. The chiefs at the Traditional Council seh, that this kina thing they like so, they too can steal more.

See ooh, one of him son lay other day took whole 98K Uncle Sam money just to buy one “helloobah” car. Lay village Town Crier them mom put mouth on him again? Da time there lay Papay wor enjoying in Uncle Sam Village ooh. Him come back na for him to call him son and discipline him, he na do it ooh. Him say he can ever ride wheelbarrow to work-lie, lie go see him bullet proof jeep.

Lay son too na shame face go grab him na, him go act like prodigal son, him go tell him Pa say him resign from him kitchen.

You say whatin?

Oh, Father, him told him Father say he na want work again. And da thing him talking there da after breaking our village money law oo. Lay other son who help him to break lay law still sitting down to him owner place leh nothing happen.

So, what they will do with lay car na?

Father, da good question oo, but da lay wrong person you are asking so. Lay car na look leh casket in their eye-boil them, nobody wan get inside to ride it na, na.

Maybe they will sell it.

Hmm, sell it? Lay play it eh right na, it better somebody be riding it so we can see it oo, because when you put sell it there, we will na even no weh play lay money from it will go ooh.

Hmm, so my son, you na think all this plenty travelling them lay Old Man can be doing, going with all those plenty people them and just spending your village money, you sure da na hospital him can be going to?

Aah, Father, this orlor question too big for my mouth. Ehn lay man da your equal friend, you go and ask him da one. Da na me coming go roast your chicken for you.