Letter to God: Lord, they say lay Papay gone again?

Dear Father:

So, they say lay Papay na go again? Bor da na small thin lay Papay on too ooh. Wait na, da travel trophy him looking for?

Um, human-being really hard to satisfy too ooh. So, whatin yor wan from dis Oldman na? Wen him sit down and send him son, yor say, him sick him comin to die. Wen him go again yor say lay man go to secret human-being garage. So, whatin lay Papay mon do na?

Father, da small thin. Bor wait oo, ley travelling him doing ehn da for ley village?Ley people sef confuse ya.

Father, leh dem jert be there, if they na take time lay Papay will turn young in da chair ooh. If they think I lying they mon go ask our village girl dem who can marry papay dem for their money and property dem in Uncle Sam Village. When they thinking ley man coming to die, him mon turn young again?

So, leh dem be there, thinking lay Papay too old to be in ley chair. You know whatin money can do?

Ask dem again my son?

Um, ley one dem da wan ley Papay to go quick, quick so they can sit down in ley chair they will stay long inside oo. Ley sef pay people can say da eat and worry.

Huh, bor leh talk so and talk so oo, ehn ley Papay jus came from some kina bisnay meeting in Uncle Sam Village, da whatin he bring na, becus da ley question na in everybody mouhgt ooh. In fact, da ley main reason why ley people making ley plenty noise for.

Then again Father, they say da private jet plane ley Papay using to be flying around here. So, ley people say, they wan know weh play him geh ley money from to be flying around here with private jet plane.

Hmmm, my son da one, ley Papay people dem mon answer for true.

Yes, ooh Father, becus da ley same Private Jet Plane bisnay they use to put mouth on ley Footballer, who turned Country Giant. They say him used to leh flying in Private Jet Plane too much.

My son, dis one you talking na it correct oo.

Yes, oh, Father. Da ley same thin ley Country Giant used to do. So, weh play ley Light eeh na.

Kpoo, ley play ley Light eeh right na they say LEC na blow ley bulb off ooh. Firt time they say ley Light bulb wor getting dim, bor right na, it na blow out for good, good.

They say da Chinese Light, wen you buy it newly, it can shine bad way. Bor, wen it start staying long, it jus start getting dim by it sef. So,, right na no light at ley Traditional Council.

Um, now I see why all kina funny thin dem can be comin from da play nowadays, becus ley play dark my son.

Yes, ooh Father, no more Light inside da play again oo. So, all ley thin ley Chiefs and ley Paramount Chiefs dem can be doing in da play da so, so guessing thin they can be on there oo.

Anyway, all ley thin we talking, me ley one da catch my heart da ley people dem who say ley Papay will soon go to ley great beyond. Hayaka, ley na know how money can make people young ehn, we inside.

Da why I leh my Coca Cola brabee for, him say, him na going to be waiting and praying for somebaley to die for him to chop president. -My name ooh!