Letter to God; Lord, you listening to dis orlor man?

By Othello B. Garblah

Dear Father,

See wahala. Puah, da watin dis orlor man explaining here so with spite comin from him mouth leh da? Dis one you talking so, da na news. In fact, everybody in de village know da dis goworment da family and friendship. De time you wor there you na talk for we de village pepo, da na you wan tell us wa we already know-phew!

My son, da who na make you vex again?

Father, ehn da dis my friend here. De time he wor enjoying Jorweh Goworment, he na say how de pepo get them wife and girlfriend them in position. They na kicked him from there na him all over de place explaining de thin them we already know.

How dis orlor person put him girlfriend here and there, da na news for we de villagers. We already know da wa they doing buying their girlfriend them big, big car them. Somer them washing their car them with liquor-all in de name of pro-poor and you wor inside defending it.

De thin da is news to us is for you to be saying it na. Na de information, bor, for you, you to be jumpin here there talking lay.

My son, I wonder de pepo think yor stupid in yor village.

Father, da it you talking slow leh da, leh them be there, ehn they think we stupid pepo here we na know watin going on here. Da we mot sit here and leh them enjoy they and their family them. Da we na know how to enjoy too.

Bor my son ehn da de same man who say all de yor Town Crier them wor goin to die poor?

Father, da him, da de man. Da him na crying all over de place bor him say he na vex. De thin he wor wishing for de Town Crier them da him doin it na -nonsense!

 Leh him be there if he like he mot cry crocodile tears da him bisnay. Me, I na feeling no sorry for him becos, if he wor still there like him friend them he wor comin to do de same thin.

Hmmm, my son you too oo.

Ah Father, da watin be my own. Na wa kind fish me I geh to fry inside their oil. They wan leh them go report to Uncle Sam, da him dividing sanction, da na me.

Ehn, dis one da wahala oo, my son.

Bor Father, you na hear say som pepo in one village praying for our owner man for Uncle Sam to moo him from de sanction?

You say watin?

Yes, oo Father. They say de pepo having serious prayer and fast for my man it na easy. Whole week they inside it.

Bor Father aye na strange, Ehn de orlor woman say they told her to make human sacrifice so Uncle Sam can’t jail her. At least it na bad if de pepo go do prayer and fast.

Bor, I hear de orlor man behind him bossman oo. He say da him immediate bossman go write letter to Uncle Sam to put him name on sanction-Hayaka, we moving.