ORIGINAL LETTER TO GOD

Lord, but where Kparchue thought the Old Lady was carrying him?

Dear Father:

Have you heard the news, they say a certain chief whose name means old switch in one of our local vernacular has been taken to a certain location where drips are being administer to him. They say the man cannot get over the political earthquake at the Traditional Counsel that saw his dreams swept away in split seconds-even his deputy position is said to be under threats.

Tell me something my son! Oh, Father, they say conman had thought that since he was key in dethroning the disgraced Paramount Chief whose hand was caught red handed in the cookies jar; he would have been the next choice to be a Paramount Chief. What a political miscarriage?

For the past weeks, Father, they say conman had been acting like the Paramount Chief Position was in his reach for grab. He thought the early morning calls he had been receiving from the Old Lady was a sign of confirmation that the post was already his to take.

Every morning, I am told, he used to stand in front of his own mirror, and repeat three times-Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker, and Mr. Speaker. You know, Father, the man wants to be like us-Charismatics, who can clam our things through faith. But he forgets to know da na everything we can claim.

And come to think of it too Father, I wonder where this man thinks the Old Lady was carrying him in the first place. Huh, aw, you have to be day-dreaming to think that the Old Lady will want to depend on an Old Switch.

I mean let’s be real; you actually think the Old Lady would have endorsed a certain name that means old switch in one of our local vernacular to be Paramount Chief after you have served with her country man who in the end show a great deal of disrespect to her.

You think that such a person, after being with him for such a long time the Old Lady will endorse you? She was just using you pure and simple and you too, you just fell under the spell. Someone says it’s like one of the witchcraft movies from Ogaland where the witch doctors can invoke the spirit of a person.

They say the Old Lady called out unto him with her both hands stretched out beckoning onto him “come, come, come…” and as if he had been hypnotized, felt under the spelt and delivered his former chief, as a sheep for a slaughter.

Oh, and Father, don’t forget the Chief Mafia, the Old Oil and who doubles as a former Paramount Chief himself, they say he played Old Switch like a Space Game, and but the time he could realized, he had become a puppet on a stage, but it was too late, the mafia had played his cards well, while the Old Lady pups champagne under her cozying and winding the night away.

Is that so my son?

But Father, we have repeatedly told them that the Old Lady is a political Maradona, no matter what they say, she will always remain the last Don we ever had. 

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