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ORIGINAL LETTER TO GOD

Lord, the Footballer crying too soon ooh!

Dear Father:
Hakaya! This one I swear to my Mamie tatty water that na true. Can you believe this? They say our Footballer has started crying and complaining already? You say what my son, so soon?


Yes, oo Father, they say, the Footballer is complaining about how the people in the village have started raining insults at him, how they are ungrateful, and they na know what they want.

Are you serious my son?
Father, da fire coming from my mouth or that popcorn popping?

I can’t believe this you mean so soon, he na start complaining and wining like a baby?
Father, da the one sef full my own mouth, because it’s just barely 6 months into a 12 year, that slip of mouth, I mean 6 six years journey and our man na start crying about how they are cursing him already?

Hmmm, that the thing the big people can always say. They say you can’t take a child to do a man’s job-my name ooo, put me down. I na get red shoes.
You mean the Footballer na able to stand stress?

I na say so oo Father. I na able that other question you asking me. The people who can make the news can always tell the Town criers that they can neither confirm nor deny. So, that other question, Father, I can’t confirm or deny.

And you know Father, while the Footballer is all over the place complaining about how the village people are cursing him describing them as ungrateful people who don’t know what they want; the Ray Hay man former wife is just all over the place too causing trouble.

Tell me something my son!
Oh, the oldma says anybody who na join their camp will not get some of our village job!

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Look at that, can you imagine that?
Yes, oo, Father. The woman appears to be just like her Ray Hay Man husband, a complete dictator, one who doesn’t care about our village oracle (more apoh in next edition).

My son, tell me more about the Footballer’s cries first, we will come to that woman later.

Oh, the man says, he’s trying to do good things for the village and the people are not appreciating him.

The other day, they accused him of breaking our village oracle left, right and center.

And what are the Chiefs from the Traditional Council during about it?

Father the people can’t say phewn! All they do day in day out is to sing the Footballer praises. They are like the 24 elders in Heaven who cry holy, holy, holy 24/7. So, they are almost like a rubber stamp Traditional Council nowadays.

Da the one the people from the other side go talk na, the Footballer go get vex saying the people na like good every day they just cursing him here and there.
But wait oo, where was he, when his disciples used to curse the Iron Old Lady bad, bad woman curse. I mean where was he, when they took red cool aide, put it on white cloths and paraded with it around town here?

No, Father, the man says, he never insulted the Old Lady, simply trying to draw a line between what his followers or disciples did to the Old Lady. But he forgets to know that his silence to have controlled his disciples was consent to their unruly behavior to the Old Lady.

He has just started receiving just the tip of the iceberg of what the Old Lady went thru, then he na start crying so soon. They will stay long inside.-To be continued.

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