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Pure Heart

Thank God I’m A Woman – Part I

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Yes, God made man and woman, the two most important creatures – I suppose – among his world of creation. The two creatures are commonly called human beings. Human beings are the only creatures for whom, it is said, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die. Indeed, the creatures are very important to the Creator. But why would God allow His Son to die for some insignificant creatures?

So it calls for celebration that I am part of these creatures. But I am even happier that I am a woman, and not a man. In a sense, it is better and more interesting to be a woman than to be a man. Da na fi-yah coming from my mou’h, my people. Woman da something; man da nothing. Da me say so, and here are a few reasons for my position.

First of all, woman’s creation was connected with cleanliness and purity. In short, woman was not made from the dust of the ground as it happened to Adam. The book of Genesis says that God made Adam out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils, and he became a living soul. This is not how Eve came into this world. In Genesis Chapter 2, the Bible says that God put Adam to sleep – a deep sleep – and made Eve through a surgical operation.

He removed one of Adam’s ribs and formed Eve. Woman did not come from direct dirt as was the case with Adam. We all know the composition of dirt/dust and that of a rib. Which is refiner? We women were not made from dust. Doesn’t this make women a special kind of creature, my people? Thank God I am a woman.

The second reason why I am happy to be a woman is that the birth of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, was made possible through us, not men. Looking at the circumstances surrounding the birth of Jesus. His coming forth into this world would have been impossible, if there was no woman. Indeed, I am happy that I belong to the category of creatures that brought Jesus on earth. Jesus passed through us. Woman da something; man da nothing. Da me say so. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern.

The third reason why it pays to be a woman is that men enjoy spending on women. In the home, they are the breadwinners. They work to support us and any children we have. Besides, they buy clothes for us, rent or build for us and so forth. When we go out with them, they are the ones who usually spend their money on us. The point is that the degree to which men are ready and willing to spend on women is not how women are ready or willing to spend on men. Isn’t it great to be a woman then?

The fourth reason is that women use men easily. In other words, men are a group of stupid creatures sent on this earth to be used by these special creatures called women. We are not stupid; they are stupid. See how they behave when they see us. Hear what they say when they are with us. When they are well-dressed and sitting somewhere, we can just take our feet or legs and lay them on their thighs any time. In fact, they are happy to see our feet on them. Stupid creatures! Also, when we are getting married to them, we fool them and they lift us and hold us as if we had no weight.

Even if we are fatter and thicker than their poor-looking body, they are still excited to lift us and pose for photos. But we never lift them. Stupid creatures! Thank God we are not stupid men; we are women. We fool to be stupid like men? God forbid! Abomination! Men are stupid creatures; women are wise creatures. Men are stupid creatures. Da me say so. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern.

To be continued …
Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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