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Why Marriages Don’t Hold These Days (Pt 3)

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As the pros and the cons were in a heated debate, an elderly man intervened to share his experience with us. “My children, I have been listening to all of you and I think I should share my experience with you. I was married for 30 years, but last year, just last year my children, we almost got divorced.” George Johnson says.

“I say fine girl, please bring one draw bucket for the old man.” I said to the bartender. For those who don’t know “draw bucket”, it is the big bottle of Club Beer we call like. The bartender brought the beer with goblet; the old man cleared his throat, and proceeded with the lecture. “How come after 30 years of marriage you still have to get threat of divorce hanging over your head?” I ask the old man.

“My son, the reason is just what happened here today. You heard the man saying that the way he want the thing is not the way his wife doing it. That’s just what happened to me my children. My wife want me perform something that cannot do any more. I told her that exercise was too difficult for me; she got vexed and asked me for divorce.” He says.

My friends and I remain very flabbergasted by the statement of the old man. Still astounded, the curiosity animated me to know more about old man George’s story. “What did you do then PAPAY?” He stares at me, smiles, and narrates his story. “My son, you know as I said the star my wife was asking for I could not perform it. I told my wife that I did not want to lose her and that she could look for some one who is capable of performing that task. She agreed and that was it. She is younger than me 10 years, so she can still make with the stars. I prefer that than losing her completely.” He laments.

“May I ask you one more question PAPAY?” My friend hesitantly asks. “Yes my son, go ahead. This is the reason why I said that I was going to share my experience. What we saw here today was the man asking for a particular way of having sex. My case is the other way around. I am listening to you.” Old man George says. “What kind of star your wife was requesting for?” My friend asks. “Bring your ears.” The old man says, “She wanted me to lift her up and perform.” He whispers.

At that juncture, a man who was seating next to our table came to us. “My name is Pastor James Weagbaye. You can call me Pastor Jimmy. You see, after listening to what the old man had to tell you guys, I want to add new flavor. Cognizant of the fact that nowadays you have to perform well if you don’t want to lose your husband or wife, I have decided to buy rated X movies for my wife and I to watch it at home. Any star my wife prefers, I try my best to do it. I tell you, right now, my wife is very happy with me. Anytime I notice that she is in the mood, I do everything I can to perform. So, sex plays a very crucial role in keeping marriage.” Pastor Jimmy says.

“Pastor do you some time receive complaint from members of your church in that direction?” I ask. “Look my brother, 80% of the complaints is about sex. Let me share this one with you. A lady in my church brought her husband complaint to me. I summoned both of them for search of common ground. The woman said she has been asking her husband to romance with her before the physical act and he has not been able to do that. You know what the lady wants is for the husband to make use of his tongue, and he is saying that he has not done that before. I told him my brother; try your best to do that if you don’t want your wife to go out for it. He tried, and today no more confusion in the home.”

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