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Pure Heart

Things in a Woman’s Hand Bag – Part 2

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My people, da me again.Da me Paul.Yeah-o, da me again-o.Da me Paul. My mou’hna scared. I can talk the thing them just like that. You like it, jacko; you na like it, Jack-o’-Lantern. Da me say so. Wheh you can do to me? Nothing!

My people, and yor remember what I wrote about women’s handbags the last time? I na come again. I na come to waste it waa-saa today again-o. I will talk about what can be in a woman’s hand bag. Yor leave me alone. I will talk it. I will talk about what can be in all the big, big hand bags the women in this place can be bluffing with. It na easy, my people. Yor just listen to me.

In the previous article, I didn’t write Part One because I didn’t think that I would have more materials for a second or third article. I made a mistake. The materials them are all over the place. Yor think I lie? I na lie. Yor just listen to me. Yor hear it?

Da so so stupid things – I mean, interesting things – can be in the handbags we see around here. Yor listen to this one. Last Friday, I saw one beautiful girl with a very beautiful handbag on her shoulder, as she walked datkinda bluffing way on 24th Street. The bag was smooth and well-packed. There were no part sinking in and others shooting out. The handbag was well-propped up. In a sense, the beautiful girl’s beautiful handbag was big – no, it looked big.

She was walking like this and walking like that – datkinda serious bluffing way – on 24th Street. Many of the people walking in the street looked at the girl and her big bag. It was something wonderful for people to look at. She crossed the main road – Tubman Boulevard – and was about to get into a taxi when I saw a young guy running toward her like nobody’s business. Before long, the guy was right next to her. He was breathing heavily, and he seemed to be extremely angry, too.

They guy grabbed the girl’s big handbag and started pulling it. She too held onto it tightly. We all thought the guy was a criminal and was trying to jerk the lady’s bag, but what we heard from the guy convinced us otherwise.

“Give me my three jeans trousers. Take them from your bag and give them to me. I want to wear the brown one to work. I have told you to move from behind my clothes. Stop folding my clothes and parking them in your bags when you’re ready to go out.Leave my clothes, especially my trousers, alone. I didn’t buy them to make your bags big. Buy big bed sheets or living room rugs for your bags. Leave my trousers alone, please,” remarked the girl’s angry boyfriend.

The guy quickly too out his trousers from his girlfriend’s bag and back to the house he went. I was became curious – very curious. So I went close to the girl, shook my head and asked the girl, “So, fine girl, dayor boyfriend’s three jeans trousers were making your handbag big and propped up like that? Whehyor on so?”

She hissed like an angry snake and said, “Take yor stupid mou’h from in my boyfriend and myself business. Da na yor damn business. You hear me?”

I laughed my guts out. I laughed and laughed and laughed. It was really an interesting piece of information. Women really have dry face. So they are just around this town with big, big handbags that have nothing in them but folded hard jeans trousers. Da na real dry face here, my people? When you think they have money in their bags, it is three pairs of big jeans trousers in them. Ehnyor see what can be in a woman’s handbag?

I know what I will start doing. I will start jerking handbags from Liberian women and wasting the contents in the street just like that. Da whah I will start doing. I want to see what they have in them. I want to see all the stupid things they have in them. Da me say so.

Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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