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Pure Heart

I Am Pekin Cell Phone – Part I.

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Everything has its importance or uses in life. Condoms have their importance or uses in life. Breasts have their importance or uses in life. Socks have their importance or uses in life. Panties have their importance or uses in life.  Bras have their importance or uses in life. I tell you the truth – we all have our importance or uses in life. Yeah, da me say so. My mou’h na scared seh.

By the way, I want to talk about myself, too. But why should I talk about those other things without mentioning myself? My name is Pekin Cell Phone. I am a great device that has a lot of importance or uses. I am new in life, but I am very useful and helpful and powerful.

Do you know why? I do a lot of things, and men and women use me for a lot of things, too. Da small thing I can do? Da small thing both men and women can do with me? I am Pekin Cell Phone. I am all over the place. Ehn yor know me, my people? Just call me Pekin Cell Phone.

People can use me to take pictures. People can use me to play music. People can use me to store music. People can use me to play games. People can use me to cheat. Da me say so.  I am Pekin Cell Phone. Don’t act like you don’t know me. I am Pekin Cell Phone.

I full of all kinds of tactics. People can use me to send messages. But they can use me to talk, too. Da small thing I can do. I am Pekin Cell Phone.

A woman who is sitting on her boyfriend’s lap in Lakpasee can use me to tell her husband who is in Maryland County that she is dying with sleep in their bedroom in Paynesville. I am Pekin Cell Phone. Don’t underestimate my importance.

I say, I am Pekin Cell Phone. I easily connect a married man and his secret lover or a married woman and her secret lover. Da me. Da me Pekin Cell Phone. You na able me.

I am Pekin Cell Phone, my people. I am a very good device for those who want to lie like nobody’s business. In other words, I can help all liars achieve their goals just like that. I am Pekin Cell Phone. You na able me, my people.

Don’t rush. Da me. Da me Pekin Cell Phone. Eh, my people, yor na know me again? Ehn I am Pekin Cell Phone? I am the one that married man can use to run away from their wives just like that. For example, they will just pick me up and start shouting, “Yes! Who’s this? Oh … oh, sorry boss lady. What? You want me to come to the office right now? Ok, I will.”

Da so, so lies. They use me to accomplish their tricks, to do their dirty, dirty things. Da me say so. Da me Pekin Cell Phone. Married women use me for the same reason. Boyfriends and girlfriends use me for the same reason. Da small lie people can do on me? Believe me. I am Pekin Cell Phone. I provide opportunities for people to escape.  You na able me. I am Pekin

Let me rest here for now, but I will come back soon. I am Pekin Cell Phone. Just call me Pekin Cell Phone.

Seriously, my people, aren’t these points to ponder?

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