Letter to God: Lord, ley Papay na making appointment lazy oo

Dear Father:

Hmm, ley Papay na making appointment lazy oo. De orlor day, ley Old Man mom go wasay again. Na fun oo. Whole 139 people in one day-awa. Ehn, they say ley papay slow, and he wasting time-they will balance.

They say tenure or no tenure de Papay wor jus naming people in those positions. Na, they say aa na easy. You wan see de tenure people running behind him again!

Um, my son, they say da na small wahala de Old Man cause oo. I hear say de unity they never had before they coming together to take de Papay before de Elders at de Palaver Hut.

Father, da ley one you talking slow leh da so? They say de Papay na know how somer de name them geh on da list sef.

You joking!

Da fire! They say de orlor day, some Paramount chief them from de Traditional Council wen to visit him at our village Palace to leh him know da they were na happy with one of de names.

And what de papay say my son?

Father, de papay mom make them weak again. They say de Papay told de Paramount Chief them da he himself saw somer de name them on de list da he na put there.

You say whatin?

Father, this one da na fun oo. They say some people jus there oo, when de Papay say yor bring de list, they say soon de list leave him office, some people can start squeezing their friend them name there.

This one da lie!

Mm be there. You na hear de thin, they say de Papay him sef, sef told de Paramount Chief them da he noticed something leh da happening-people jus putting all kina people on de list.

Hmm, bor de Old Man da “baby, de Papay na Baby.”

Father, da de same thin I been telling my village people them this whole time. I say de Papay na baby. De Papay able to make him own list. Bor leh wait to hear wah de Elders at de Palaver Hut will say.

Bor is it true da de Chiefs at de lower end of de Traditional Council say de Papay mom account for him fiasco Charlie Land visit.

Yes, oo Father. They say de Old Man mom tell them how much him spent on da fiasco trip they say wor town visit.

And him tell them?

Father, da de one we still sitting down here waiting to hear oo. De story sef fini long leh spider story. It jus join, join every where no hay no tail.

You joking.

Bor Father, which one be surprised in da one. De Papay town crier them say, him wen to see him brother Nana. Bor it turned out him brother Nana from Charlie Land had gone to Uncle Sam’s Cousin village. Den, they say no, him saw Charlie Land second man in command, bor de story too geh plenty noise.

So, na de chief them mom help us know how much him spend. And in doing da maybe, maybe they will ask him to tell them who him really met. Bor in de main time they say him mom tell de village thru them how much him usage on this trip.

Hmm, my son aa look leh yor village geh plenty news oo?

Father, da fun, de Papay mom geh him 41 million Uncle Sam money him asked de Chiefs at de Traditional Council to giv him-no noise, business continue. We jus picking up from de place we stop.