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Letter to God; Lord, This election wahala

Dear Father,

Hmm, you know this election thing geh it own wahala too oo. I mean come to think of it. You geh the people who come to hustle for jobs calling themselves saviors and liberators and then the hustlers who come to hustle the hustlers.

You joking!

Father, this one da na fire coming from my mouth oo. To hustle for office in this our village, it na easy oo.

What do you mean?

Aah, you think people will just give you supports? Already they know that hustle you on and when you go to the Traditional Council or when you chop president you will na geh their time again, so they will make sure they “scrip” you well, well.

Tell me something!

Ooh Father, you na see how some people fix roads by force and organize community tournaments and all that just to show themselves to the people.

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They are just starting.

But that it you talking slow like that. Wait until the ones who hustle the hustlers sure up. Ehn campaign will soon start, da the time you will see fun.

Ehn, you heard how 75 thousand Uncle Sam money disappeared the other from some kina rally planning. Da one small.

You know, the other day one of my friends who is also hustling to be elected to our Traditional Council was in my office to get some paperwork done. As my friend was about to leave, the phone began ringing endlessly. My friend too refused to answer.

So, I started wondering and later ask, why you na answering this person. Right there my friend, without saying anything answered the call.

You could hear the guy from the other side of the telephone trying to cajole my friend-saying how he wants to organize football tournament as part of his campaign plan for my friend and making all kinds of plans asking my friend to just show up.

You mean the person was trying to cajole your friend.

Oh, da the one you talking slow like that? When my friend got through talking, my friend turned to me and said you know why I didn’t want to answer this guy? “No”, I replied.

My friend said in 2017 this guy asked me to give him 3,500 of Uncle Sam’s money to organize a football tournament for me in my district. When I gave him the money, he disappeared. Now, another election time has come, and he is coming again with tournament story. -See wahala. And that just to organize football tournament along oo.

And you know, my friend is the only person oo. Imagine the over 35,000 people that have come to hustle for our village job, think of how many people that are also coming to hustle the hustlers-that election wahala for you.

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