Letter to God: Lord, Uncle Sam Paa-da eat and worry lol

By Othello B. Garblah

Dear Father:

Hmm, Uncle Sam Paa, they just leh to spoil people party too oo. Weh play they na come from again with sanction bisnay again?

People here enjoying all the vibes coming from all over the place. You see somer the partisans themsef, you want join, then they come bring sanction bisnay inside again-ay lor.

Da this one they can call putting sand in people gari oo.

Da only putting sand in gari, dis is what they called eat and worry. So leh all lor them just be there.

Father, da small thing, you na hear the Footballer and him people say they will win first round, the Oldman and him owner people say they will win first round, then Taxi Driver say, yor say whatin-I will win first round too.

Can you imagine? Da weh play all lor them will win first round eh?

Hmm, Father, you asking me? No wonder Uncle Sam coming to put sand in their gari to spoil the party.

So, my son oh, the way Uncle Sam na talk na, I wonder if all lor them will still be passing around here with chopping one round.

Uh, Father, Uncle Sam na stopping them from saying they will win first round oo. Uncle Sam just saying, they mon make sure da no cheating wahala come inside it. Wen they put cheating bisnay inside na, da the time Uncle Sam say, they will release the dragon in the room.

Hmm, I know dis one will scare them small.

Ayaka, Father da it you talking slow leh da? Da one can’t stop the sun from shining oo. The Old man and him people say they na joking oo, they will eat the thing one round. Taxi Driver say loka this Oldman ay, da me chopping first round.

You joking! I wonder where they coming from with their one round bisnay?

But Father, you na hear the Footballer and him people too? They were the first people to bring dis chopping first round bisnay, so the orlor people na joined them.

Um, this one da na small wahala oo. No wonder Uncle Sam na put mouth inside.

Yes, oo Father, because the way people who want to chop president are running around with dis first round bisnay in dis highly forested village with plenty people fighting to chop president, I wonder how somebody will chop one round-aah my name oo.

Bor da it you talking slow leh da so. Hmm, but leh talk so and talk so oo, ay look leh Uncle Sam smelling something ooh. Father, da it you talking slow leh da so.

Bor wait oo, so you want to tell me all the noise people making around here, they sitting on town bomb? Da Fire! No bush shaking.

You na know da somer the noise people causing that so, so vlah. Ley people say, yor na hear it before, yor will hear it, hear it, till it stick. You na copy code, I tire ya.