Letter to God: Lord, wheplay this Apple Man coming from?

Dear Father,

This man is becoming a serious concern to our entire village. I mean everybody jus talking about him, since we fini the voting bisnay last week.

Da wha kina man you talking about so my son?

Father, ehn da this Apple Man here. I mean nobody know wehplay the man coming from and we jus hearing him name all over the place. All the people them we know thinking they wor coming to do something by far better, this Apple Man jus came and put sand in allor them gari.

You say whatin?

Father, da na fun ooh. Right now, people are even thinking that people put the man inside the election so he can steal some people owner votes.

Can you imagine?

Father, bor who will believe da kina thin sef. The way the Voting House people owner thing them look leh bullet proof, da wehplay da one will pass.

Bor come to think of it Father, the man name really ringing too oo. I say nobody saw him coming. Me who weh say I be village town crier sef, I never heard him name until the day I went to do my voting.

Is it true da the man wor put inside the place to make sure nobody win first round?

Aah, Father da orlor question there ay too big for my mouth ooh, bor the way the man running with somer the votes sef can make people to think all kina way too mehn.

The man na put no picture up during the campaign, nobody knew about him, one soon morning we jus see the man show face on the ballot paper-boom him name jus start ringing all over the place.

Wait oo, my son, the man da spirit?

Father, the man da na spirit, bor nobody know him sef. Imagine man leh Taxi Driver and Poor Man Lawyer them who everybody know around here, the man jus come and da na small beating him gave them in those villages.

My son you na sure something behind this thing here?

Father, da the one everybody talking about right now. In fact, some people called him the mystery man. Anybody who hear him name the first thing they can say is “wehplay this man coming from?

Yor will balance.

Father, balancing pa, da na small balancing we doing ooh, becos da na small flogging the man flogging my man them ooh. And we na even geh over it yet sef.

So, whatin the people at the voting house saying?

Aah Father, da whatin the people will say na, they are jus doing their work. They fini announcing that people so go and do voting again in one of the Old Soljar Man town sef.

The people supposed to do the voting again today. To tell you the truth, who tell you say the people geh time for the noise on the street.

Oh, you na hear how the Voting House big woman and the Town Crier them can be fighting over there ehn. Bor you know the woman sef da old Town Crier so she can give it to our people good, good.

Anyway, we na leaving this Apple Man bisnay, we mon find out wehplay him coming from. Me, I want to know.